Helping Children Cope With Pet Loss
Losing a pet is difficult enough for adults. It’s tough to say goodbye to a longtime companion and deal with all those related emotions, but it's even harder when you're helping children cope with pet loss too.
Your sense of grief and loss can seem worse by seeing your children try to process their feelings too. Helping a child grieve a pet isn’t always easy, so we’d like to give you some tips to help you both through your pain.
This article covers helping children cope with pet loss, how to explain pet loss to a child, whether children should be involved in saying goodbye to your pet, helping children create happy memories before their pet’s passing, and some suggestions for pet loss memorials you can make, build, plant, and more.
How Do You Explain Pet Loss to a Child?
What you say to a child experiencing grief is going to differ greatly depending on their age and perhaps even their temperament. But your best course of action is to follow these simple rules no matter their age:
Explain in age-appropriate language
Keep it simple and honest
Be truthful but not too descriptive
More sensitive children may need greater support than those who are more practical and matter-of-fact. You know your own child best, so choose words carefully to suit both of you and their level of understanding. Considering how to explain pet death to a 5- or 6-year-old will be very different from how you discuss your pet’s passing with a teenager.
Should Children Be Included in Saying Goodbye to a Pet?
You can absolutely include your children in saying goodbye to your pet. Involving your children can help them understand what’s happening and feel included. You may find this option easier than them waking up to find their pet gone. They’ll wonder where they are or what happened, and you’ll have to explain afterward.
On the other hand, children shouldn’t be forced to be present if they don’t want to be involved. Give them the choice of how and when they’d like to say goodbye, and accept their decision. There’s always time between sedation and the final injection when your dog or cat will be in a deep sleep. This is a perfect time for your children to say their goodbyes as their beloved pet sleeps soundly.
Help Children Cope With Pet Loss: Happy Memories Before Saying Goodbye
Happy memories can help ease the transition through loss. If you have time before your appointment, it’s a great idea to spend special time with your cat or dog with your children present. What you can do together always depends on your pet’s capabilities in those final days or hours.
You and your children can sit with your companion and pet them, take special photos, or give them extra hugs and treats. Maybe your child would like to draw a picture or play songs for them. Simple things that keep everyone comfortable give children something positive to do when they have no control over how their pet feels.
Memorial Activities To Help Children With Pet Loss
Personalized pet memorials are a great way to have your children feel involved in remembering your pet. This can be something as simple as framing a photo of the whole family, or just a photo of your children with your pet. You might want to put in more effort by creating a small scrapbook that looks back from when you first got your pet to now.
Your children might enjoy painting your pet's paw pads (if your pet is comfortable with that) to make pawprint pictures. Or they could decorate a memory box and write a letter or story about their favorite times with your pet. If you want something more permanent, you could choose a place in your home or yard for a memorial to your pet, or plant a tree in their honor.
Whatever you choose to do, big or small, it won't dissolve the grief, but it gives you an outlet for your feelings and a personal way to remember the great days and experiences you enjoyed together.
Keep Talking About Your Pet After They're Gone
Once your pet has passed and left your home, don’t stop mentioning them. No doubt they’ve been a big, important part of your family, and they should stay part of normal conversations. Remembering the good times together can help soften the loss.
It’s not unusual for younger children to get upset weeks or even months after losing your pet. They might ask more questions. Everyone has different grief timelines. Some people get over losses quickly, others take much longer, and yet others begin to grieve even before their pet loss.
Grief has no defined end. You, yourself, may have held things together at the time of loss, but suffer delayed grief later when you’re able to finally process the situation.
It’s all normal. Processing grief is very personal. Handling the grief of your children and the loss of your trusted companion is never simple or easy. Try to be willing and available to help your children process their thoughts and feelings as best you can, without judgment, and with as much compassion as you can offer.
For more information on end-of-life pet care at home, you might find the following links helpful:
Comments